Grace…again.

It took me three hours this morning to get to a place of listening. My eyes pinged open, somewhere around 430am, my body restless, my mind telling me ‘there’s something here’ but also buzzing so busily trying to find ‘it’ that ‘it’ remained drowned out.

A series of little things and three hours later I had lovingly convinced the buzzing to stop, that it wasn’t needed, and then it was there. Loud, clear, obvious.

The moments this morning, before 730am, where I had felt and gone to “give me strength” were there. The fact that they were coming so early in the morning and then the fact, the knowing, that strength is actually not what I need right now.

I heard…give me grace instead. Grace in overflow, so much grace that I have enough to pass on.

To those who are already raging on the road. Those who are bustling, barging and bumping through the shops. Those who seem so quick to judge and criticise what they do not know.

To my children as they grumble and stomp. To all of the different responses to the tail end of a heavy year and everything the idea of the holidays is bringing up for all of us.

I’m being reminded of grace, to ask for grace, so that I can add it to everything in the air, everything happening in the spaces between us all right now.

Because if I don’t rage at the raging, it stops. If I don’t barge, bustle or bump back, it stops. If I don’t judge the judgement, if I can find compassion for the critics, it stops.

If I don’t grumble and stomp around my house about the grumbling and stomping around me, then it will all stop with me.

If I can find grace today and for the rest of the month, then I can give the grace that I need to feel more of in the air.