Ruby Slippers
Oh it’s been a week. We don’t get sick very often, we haven’t been this sick since gastro hit the four of us a few years ago (before there were 5 of us). The timing has actually been perfect, one week earlier and I may have gone crazy, I could not have stopped. This week I could stop and I have been stopped in my tracks. Long days and long nights all running into each other. They’ve all gone down like dominoes one each day since Sunday, I’m the only one standing and I’m starting to falter watching what’s likely about to happen to me, my energy, my strength, my body. Being the caregiver of little people can be draining at the best of times, when they’re sick they suck the life out of you. Not because they are evil monsters but because they need to, they need my energy to restore theirs.
I’ve actually coped way better, for way longer this week than I have in the past. My cup is much fuller these days and I started the week with some overflow to give them. I also know how to top it up a little bit throughout the day now too. I don’t need solitude or a weekend retreat, I’ve learned how to do small self-care often to avoid reaching empty before bedtime. Lastly I know how to conserve my energy in times like these with perspective. It just becomes me and them and ‘what do they need right now, in this moment?’. Shutting everything else out- and by everything I mean ‘am I doing this right?’, ‘what does she do?’ and ‘what would the Dr say’ etc- allows me to connect with them and myself so that I can know what I need to do and feel that everything is going to be ok. This too shall pass.
I have people asking me for bits of advice here and there and I’m always happy to share. All I can share though is what has worked for us and what I’ve tried. We use essential oils, tissue salts, homeopathy, supplements, herb and plant medicine and food as medicine. Sometimes all of them at once, sometimes none of them at all. The biggest thing I use every day though, in all circumstances, is this connection to self and connection to them. When this is strong you can ask “what does he need” and you’ll get an answer from within, the right answer for you. This has taken time and practice, it’s something that has been taught out of us over generations, something we need to relearn and practice enough that we begin to be able to trust in it and trust in ourselves again.
This is why there is no one size fits all prescription to any of the challenges we face with our Little Wildflowers. There is no point in learning the ‘right way’ to do any of this parenting stuff- what to eat, what to avoid, how to do bedtime or deal with behaviour- because what is right will change from child to child and from moment to moment. Learning to adapt and to know how to read each child and each moment comes from this connection to self and connecting with them.
Last night I ran myself a bath and sat in the dark with a small candle burning, trying to charge myself back up. I closed my eyes and tried not to think about anything, not the dishes or the lunches that needed to be made or getting out the door for school the next morning. Then I heard the weirdest thing, honestly I am not making this up, I heard Glinda speaking to Dorothy. I heard her say “You had the power all along my dear” and then I lost the fight with my overthinking mind, it was off.
What if Dorothy didn’t have to wait until the end of the movie to hear this? What if the ruby slippers had come with a note that said- You are about to go on a journey, it will feel hard at times, it is necessary and will lead you to where you need to be. You will meet people along the way, just the right people with the right skills you’ll need to help you on your way and even though you don’t know where you’re headed they will come with you. You don’t know where the end is or how long you’ll have to keep going. There will be bumps in the road, some dead ends and even some imposters but when you do get to the end I’ll be there with you because I’ll walk with you the whole way and when it’s time to go home I’ll show you the way. What if she didn’t have to wonder what on earth was going on the whole way? What if we don’t either?
What if I told you that you have a pair of sparkling ruby red slippers inside of you but the note has been wet in the rain? Our one on one parent support program is about spending some time with guidance and encouragement to rewrite the note, find and reacquaint yourself with your ruby slippers then learn how to put them on. I want you to see that you have the power to follow the yellow brick road wherever it is leading you and your Little Wildflower knowing the whole way that it will be ok and things will work out. Really know that you already have everything you need because once you know this it will be much easier to spot the people and things that are meant to join you on the road out of the many, many options.
