Garden

This garden is one of the projects I’m creating space for this year. I’ve wanted a kitchen garden for years. Wanting is different from creating space and very different from creating!

We’ve dabbled over the years. Herbs and fruit trees in our first home, a few attempts at throwing some seedlings in in Spring. Small harvests of tiny bits and bobs and many failures. The thing was we were always keen, impatient and working in gardens that were temporarily ours.

This is ours, our forever home and from the moment I stepped onto the lawn I wanted it to be the place where we finally do it properly. It’s been almost a year and a half. This time last year I was keen and impatient, ready to go to the garden shop and load up. But I didn’t.

I wandered around, I looked at options and had ideas and then I slowed down and left empty handed. I felt into what I had seen and it felt like a ‘NO’ to the obvious, quickstart, big plastic tub option. It was a no for us.

I sat with other options. I remained curious and then I was steered towards these old fruit crates. We picked them up, asked a few questions, brought them home and then didn’t know what to do next. So we let them sit there and remained curious.

What to line them with?
What to fill them with?
What do we need to know and consider?

It all unfolded. It all became clear. Slowly, steadily. A year and a half passed, as time does, while most of my space was being used up by other things. The things that had risen up to the top and felt like the right things for that time.

I’m outside most mornings, I’m staring out towards the empty (for a long time) crates and there were lots of moments of impatience and frustration.

I want to be cooking with food we’ve grown last week. I want to have something to water and tend to last week too. At times it has even felt like we’ve left it too late, missed the boat, like we need to be there (where others already are) already. Wanting and not wanting to miss out are not the same as creating space or creating.

This week we got some mulch. Yesterday I pulled into the garden shop and tackled ‘What and how much do we put on top?’ This morning we all worked out there, shovelling, filling, layering, watering, chipping and clearing- with plenty of trampolining for good measure.

This week I’m another step closer to having home grown food on our plates. I’m also still a long way from it. I could feel deflated and frustrated at this point or excited and inspired. My eyes are on the next step, on ‘What do we plant and when?’ Not rushing toward it but sitting with that next question with curiosity and watching for it to unfold.

For the answers to arrive. For the opportinities to show up. For the flow to pick me up and move me towards another next step.

I’m excited and inspired. I’m letting go of what should be done and when it should be done and that’s creating space for what is.

Now all I need to focus on is creating the space to be with what is and to feel into what will be required of me next.