Hello?
Life: Hello…are you there?
White noise
White noise
White noise
Life: What about now?
Me: None of this makes any sense, it’s hopeless, what the hell is going on?
Life: Shhhh, stop and listen
Me: I don’t get it, I don’t know what to do, I can’t do this
Life: SHHH you’re not listening
Me: I can’t, it’s impossible. Hang on, what?
Life: SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Me: Ohhhhhh….
Life: Hello, there you are!
Me: Hi
Life: Shhhh
Me: Silence
Life: That’s it, now you’re getting it
Me: Silence
Life: Now you’re listening
Me: Silence
Life: Here’s a challenge
Me: Ok tell me what to do?
Life: Uh uh
Me: Silence
Life: Good, now here’s another
Me: Silence
Life: Ok, can you hold it through this?
Me: White noise building again
Life: Shhh come back
Me: Yep if you could just tell me how
Life: Silence
Me: This is hard, remember when? And what if…
Life: Stay here, stay with now
Me: Silence
Life: That’s it now try not to falter when I throw this and this
Me: Bump, bump, wobble
Life: Hold it, hold it
Me: This is too hard, if I could just explain, if they would just hear me
Life: You don’t need to, it wouldn’t make a difference.
Me: I can’t, I don’t want to do this anymore, it hurts too much
Life: Stay with it, stay
White noise
White noise
White noise
Me: Ok I’ve got it, I’m back, ok I see
Life: Yes you’ve got it, the silence, the listening, the coming back, the steadying, the staying. Now here’s the same scenario you’ve found your steadiness with…in your child’s life. Let’s go again!
Life is a lot right now. Life is also giving me everything I need.