On fears for the future.

I used to have fears for his future. Early on, before he had even started school, I used to worry about how he would cope and how they would cope with him.

I’ve just walked out of his high school interview and I have no fear at all.

Not because we have solved all of his challenges but because we don’t need to.

Not because we convinced them that he doesn’t have any but because we told them all about them.

Because every experience, every tough conversation I’ve had with his teachers over the years has prepared me for today to not actually feel that tough. Every dark night I have spent wrestling with my stories and my fears and feelings about how he challenges me has prepared me for today to feel ok.

To walk in there, to be open, honest and vulnerable. To say this is him, this is all of him and you would be so lucky to have him. This is us, this is what we know, where we’ve been and how we see things and we’ll be here in this with him.

To know that when the bumps come we’ll be there and they’ll be there and together we will get him over them. That together we are about to embark on a partnership, a collaboration to be his safety net while he learns to get himself up and over them without us. While he grows up and into adulthood.

It’s a big day in our story today. A day to reflect on how so much of what has felt unnecessarily hard and even cruel and pointless in the past has been for this.

I don’t fear the future anymore. I can’t wait…I mean I can, I want to be here in the moment but I’m excited for it!!