On making this for him.

We made this life for him. In so many ways. We have made choices, taken turns and drawn lines in our lives for him, because of him. We have grown, built and created with him for eleven years now.

So that he could have the things he needs. Feel and know the glimmers that fill him, ground him and energise him enough to be able to manage the parts of this world that challenge and drain him.

We have taught him to communicate how he feels and what he needs and we have taught ourselves how to listen and hear him. To acknowledge and accept his truth even when it clashes with ours.

We have learned how to be curious about what he tells us and to ask why over and over. To follow the clues, that are often scattered crumbs, to find what is underneath. Why he feels and experiences and expresses what he does and why we feel and experience and express what we do in response. What comes up in us when we are called to support and guide him through the hard parts and why.

We have created for him what he has shown us he needs in order to thrive and be the best version of himself in the world.

When the outside world has asked us to change him to suit it. When it has pushed and screamed ‘he should’ or ‘he must’ or kindly offered a solution to make him fit we have followed an instinct to question and explore all of our options first.

Because that is what he has shown us he needs and that is what he continues to show us is the best thing for him.

We all create our lives and our children’s lives with our choices, with the things we say yes to and the things we say no to. What we allow, what we insist, what we resist and what we stretch ourselves to reach.