Real, Raw, Uncomfortable

I love this little lot to the moon and back, more than anything in the whole wide world and we had a really beautiful day together yesterday.

I got all the things I wanted and needed for Mothers Day because I asked for them, believed that I deserved them and didn’t let anyone off the hook too easily when they protested and tried to resist putting my wants first, for one day.

I also got a lot of things I didn’t want for Mothers Day, because I was still a mother on Mothers Day and no matter how much we want and wish for a ‘perfect’ day of celebration we’re (so fortunate to be) still living life with children on Mother’s Day.

In fact, I think that the idea of a ‘perfect day’ puts enough pressure on everyone to guarantee that there will be conflict and disappointment and a wide range of emotions to deal with throughout the day.

And there was for us.

Each of these little beings pushed a button, brought up emotion and created conflict in me yesterday. And it was still an amazing, memorable, beautiful day.

Somehow perfect has come to mean challenge, problem and emotion free. Perfect in that sense is unattainable unless we suppress, repress and maintain a mask. Even if I had a Mother’s Day by myself, peaceful, quiet, doing only what I wanted to do, I would miss them and worry about them and feel a tiny bit guilty the entire time. Though I did have and love a beautiful morning moment without them, it’s not how I wanted to spend the whole day.

There’s no escaping emotion in motherhood. They’re here to challenge and push and hold up mirrors for us. The way things open up, get uncomfortable and sometimes even blow up when we spend time with our children is perfect. It’s the kind of perfect I can get behind, the kind of perfect I want to be seeking.

By the end of our day each of them had brought me a little moment of love and appreciation and connection. Each one had done it in their own special way from their unique little hearts and not just because the day or their Dad or their teacher at school told them that they should or had to.

When we allow the real, raw, uncomfortable parts of life to be a part of even the most special of days then we get to have the real, raw, magical ones too. We get to see the value in the things we ask for and receive and also the things that we are given and provided with because we don’t realise that we actually really need them

I hope you all had a beautiful Mother’s Day and can see the value, the love and the perfection in the moments that might have felt like they were ruining the day at the time