Rebuild a new one that will.
Our toolbox isn’t cutting it at the moment. We’re dealing with new versions of all the challenges we’ve learned to deal with over the years, now that big hormone changes have joined the party.
I’ve been pulling out everything we have, one by one and then when it hasn’t been enough I’ve started to look for more. Started feeling into the needs that are not being met by what we have already.
Started to connect in and ask the same question I learned to ask when he was a toddler ‘what does he need in this moment?’ and to listen for clues that will guide me to what we could add in. Started to notice what is jumping out at me and to allow one thing to lead me to the next.
It’s hard to stay present when things get so wobbly and uncertain. When the things that have worked and helped for years aren’t enough anymore. It’s hard to not go to memories of the past and how difficult things were then or to fears for the future if we never find balance again.
But being present, staying here where we are, is what is required. Staying present is the one thing I need to do to be able to follow my intuition and know which step to take next.
Everyone has a suggestion or some advice. Everyone will have a story or something that has worked for them in a similar situation. Everywhere I look there are offers and options. Having a community of parents and practitioners to talk to is a blessing. Having the whole world at our fingertips (online) is incredible.
Neither can really help me though, unless I am able to be present with the clues they present and decipher where they are pointing me.
It can’t be a coincidence that we have hit this point in our journey a couple of days before I start working with a family on ‘Tools, Techniques and Remedies’ for the first time. I don’t believe in coincidences.
I’m being reminded that this module is not about me teaching parents what to put in their toolboxes or showing them what I have in mine. It’s about teaching them how to explore and navigate the options out there and to find what they need in theirs. So that months or years down the track, when their toolbox isn’t cutting it for whatever reason, they can do what I’m doing now.
They’ll know how to ask the questions, listen for and decipher the answers and rebuild a new one that will.